...and....

There it is. The coveted Marine Corps Marathon Finisher Medal. 6:30:49. Longer than I wanted, but at the end of the day, it only matters that I crossed the Finish Line.

...and it all comes down to...

RACE DAY!!!!!

Last double digit LONG RUN - now we taper

Ouch. Serious ouch.
The last long run was downright painful. My right knee just did NOT want to cooperate, even with the compression wrap on. I spoke to one of the physical therapists afterwards, though I knew there wasn't a lot I could do with the remaining time to strengthen the muscles involved.

She recommended a foam roller (purchased), switching entirely to the new shoes (done - I wore the old ones that day), and continuing to stretch, especially the glutes, up to race day. I'm planning on getting a massage a few days before the race. Coach Rick suggested spending time in the pool with a kickboard loosening up the hips...so I guess it's a good thing I'll be on vacation right before MCM? smile

If worse comes to worse, I can ice during the race...bought a small bottle of biofreeze, just in case.

The rest of me held up okay, just a little sore in the quads/glutes - and the 7 hour flight the next day didn't help that any!

The good news? Other than knee pain the run was great. Who knew long runs could be enjoyable? Seriously?

The other good news? Now that I am getting down to the wire (only two 8 mile runs until race day!!), donations have been pouring in from friends and family! Current total stands over the halfway mark to my $3000 goal!!

I have to take a minute to thank every one of you for your support - family, friends, coworkers - it means the world to me that you've supported me on this journey. I doubt I'll have the urge to train for another marathon (though I won't say never), but the past several months of training have been a learning experience for me. Glad that you've stuck with me through it!

26 Days!!

I haven't written much - have missed my last 2 long runs thanks to a respiratory infection that is threatening still to settle in my chest (I get bronchitis a lot in the autumn - although I didn't get so much as a cold last year).

This coming Saturday, I'm running no matter what - it's the last double-digit (and the longest) long run before race day. Running short runs has been painful (breathing is poor - lungs hurt) but do-able. I have way upped my Vitamin D for three days as is recommended to boost immune response - let's hope that does the trick and helps knock this out.

Trying to stay motivated!

Things Learned on an 18 Miler

18 Miles is not as hard as it sounds...but you will be sore afterwards.

When you really need to pee, you really need to pee - endurance running is not for the overly modest. Sometimes squatting in the bushes is the best you're gonna get.

Iliotibial (IT) Band pain - it happens. Compression wraps work. (Note to self - buy one before next long run!)

Everything the coaches say about rest, eating and hydration is true.

Some pains can be run through. Some can't. Helps to know which are which.

You really can psych yourself out - in good ways or bad.

Being able to say "I ran 18 miles this morning for charity" feels pretty damned good and makes the soreness worth it.

Trying to Get Back

Ugh...so this whole "cleaning up from the storm" thing really got me sidetracked and weighed down. I'll spare you the details, but long story short I've really been in a pissy mood and stressed out.

Got up early this morning. Ran 10. Very grateful for the company of Sharita, one of the women I've run with a few times. We were both tired and both off-schedule as far as running. A couple of times we found ourselves just getting silly and laughing out loud, which I really needed.

Marine Corps Marathon is ONLY 49 days away.

Oh, and for what it's worth...I can deal with the soreness and the aches. But chafing absolutely BITES, especially in places you didn't expect it!

Long runs, Phoenixes, Hurricanes

So first...running. Yep, ran more than my planned 12 last weekend. We started early because of the impending storm barrelling up the east coast. I missed my very last turn and ended up running an extra mile and a half or so...whoops. But it was all good. Minimal ankle pain. Now I can get synched back up with the rest of the team for most of the remaining training weeks! YAY!

I should mention that I am doing this to raise money for charity! I haven't said much about that in a while as I have been focused on the running training itself...but I am still nowhere near my $3K goal. This weekend, many of my friends are in Montreux and London, celebrating what would have been the 65th (!) birthday of the man so many of us loved. The money you donate goes to AIDS United and the Washington AIDS Partnership...and I am raising it in the name of The Mercury Phoenix Trust. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Freddie or hear him speaking or singing in my head.

If you want to sponsor me :  SPONSOR SUZANNE'S MARINE CORPS MARATHON RUN

I have had a rough few days and haven't been keeping to my maintenance run schedule. Hurrican Irene rolled in on Saturday...and knocked our power out until Tuesday, flooded my basement, and did a bit of damage to the roof. Clean up is going slowly...but we're getting there. This is a holiday weekend coming up, so I hope to have enough time and help to finish cleaning up...and to get in a nice 10 mile recovery run (in true Phoenix fashion).

Back In Double Digits!!

Let me say it one more time - Physical Therapists rock!

So, yeah, I was really frustrated last week. I saw "Sarah the Sadist" (said with fondness, I swear) twice. She worked her magic. She also showed me how to loosen up my foot and my ankle by myself.

I didn't get maintenance runs in and was more than a little bit nervous going into Sunday. Team was running 8, I was running 10.

And I am thrilled to say that I made the 10 miles!!!

I really hope this means I am back in the game for good. We have 10 more weeks to MCM, and I really, really, really want to finish the race.

Too Soon? Maybe...Maybe Not.

I haven't written about running yet this week. In fact, I haven't run since Sunday.

Sigh. So here's why...I felt great after Sunday's run (8 miles for those of you keeping track), but had a bad flare of PTT pain by Monday morning. Like a "limping up the stairs, needs lots of ice and ibuprofen" flare. It was the first day that I confronted the idea that I might not be able to run the race. I'll be honest - I cried.

 

For those of you who have been with me since the start of this journey, you know all the reasons I decided to do this, why I chose the charity I'm raising money for, what it's meant to ME to start running. I will be absolutely gutted if I can't finish this. My friends, my family, my coworkers who have supported me...my running partners...myself...disappointed.

 

Here's the thing...the Marine Corps Marathon is in 73 days. I'm *almost* at the critical deciding point in training. So I have been pep-talking myself all week. Stretching. Walking.

 

I'm going to PT this afternoon and I am hoping that Sarah can work her magic and un-knot me so I can run tonight. Keep your fingers crossed for me...I'm not out yet.

Cautiously optimistic...

OK, so I ran 7 miles with my team on Sunday. Lots of sweat (96% humidity) but minimal pain. The tape stayed put for most of the run, but started to come loose right at the ankle at about mile 6. I ran successfully yesterday without kinesio tape for the first time since early July - a little over 3 miles. I had a little pain in the tibealis posterior, but was able to stretch it and finish the run.

Needless to say, I am absolutely thrilled. My physical therapist rocks! Thank you, Sarah and NovaCare Rehabilitation .

One of the coaches is helping work up a revised schedule to get me back on track for mileage. Planning 8 for this Sunday, and will need to work in some extra long runs to ensure I make it to 20 miles by mid-October.

Race day is now less than 80 days!!!

Oh, and let me not forget WHY I am doing this besides the benefits for me...the most recent AIDS United newsletter is worth a read. AIDS United and Washington AIDS Fund are the beneficiaries of my training program, and every cent you donate to my run goes to them. Both have excellent records with regard to fiscal responsibility and both are impacting care in a positive way.

Signal, Noise

I have had a really noisy week. Not bad, necessarily, just noisy. Very interactive. Lots of interesting conversations on lots of different topics with lots of different people. Almost none of it's been about running. I haven't really thought about writing about running. (smile)

Hm - in all fairness, I shouldn't call that noise, should I? It's only noise in the sense that my internal voice is signal, everything outside of that is noise.

When I first started this blog, I wrote about running as therapy, as a way of getting out of the unforgiving cycle of depression and its debilitating mental and physical effects. This past couple of weeks I really started to feel awake for the first time since I went pharmaceutical free. Awake, engaged, but not...I don't know, hyper? Even though my mind felt like it was on overdrive at some point, I was able to quiet it, sort my thoughts out, and move on. So my internal voice was primarily active and positive and deeply thoughtful, and when it headed into murky water, I was able to sail back out.

The whole subject of mind/body connection is fascinating to me.   It's something I've only really started exploring for myself (as opposed to reading about in abstract) recently. Running started out being about, well,  running, but over time it's become somewhat meditative. Getting into that physical rhythm and trying to listen to my body has de-stressed my mind. Those of you who have always been athletes are probably wondering how I could be just now figuring this out!

Learning to Hear

My first attempt at a long run with PTT (posterior tibealis tendinitis) was neither a win nor a lose. The team ran 14, I ran 6. Today was my first try at a long run since July 3rd when PTT reared its ugly head, so I'll take the 6.
One of the people on the team saw my get into my thoughtful space and said "Hey, it's all in your mind...your body will do whatever your mind asks it to." I responded that I know it will - the question today is at what price. I could keep running today but that may mean not being able to run for ANOTHER three weeks.

Today, my mind listened to my ankle, which was telling me to back off after five miles. With 91 days to race day, I think (*hope*) it was the right call. This got me thinking about how we listen (or not) to our bodies.

My training program insists that we run without headphones, which some of us balked at in the beginning. Like many, I like running to music and often find it gives me an extra push. I'm really beginning to appreciate running without now. Not only does it encourage us to be a team when we run together, but I'm finding that even when I run on my own, running without music in my ears helps me listen to the world around me and listen to myself. I've been concentrating a lot on form since my ankle injury, and when I run without music I pay much more attention to how my feet are hitting the ground.

It may sound simple, but it has shifted my whole perspective. On more than just running.

It's All About the Miles

In June, I ran >50 miles. Remember, I am not a runner. Or, well...at least I wasn't a runner until May, when I started this whole lunatic "Shucks, I think I'll run the Marine Corps Marathon for charity" thing.

July, however, saw me injured and unable to run. I have walked instead when I could, and got some mileage in that way, but missing 2+ weeks of maintenance runs, a 12-miler, and two 6-milers put a dent in my overall mileage for July. So far I've run 16 miles and walked an additional 9.

25 miles. Only 25 miles. Wow, who would have thought that I, the couch potato non-athlete, would be complaining that I only got 25 miles in so far this month?

I resumed running yesterday am, with my ankle taped. Three close to (but not quite) pain free miles. And I plan to rejoin my running team for the long run on Sunday.

I have to give a shout out to the good people over at NovaCare Rehabilitation for getting me back out on the trail. This month I learned what kinesiology tape is. Thanks, Brian & Sara, for getting me back in the game. Physical therapists ROCK! (And in case you've somehow missed it...I know a thing or two about what rocks!)

It's a Beautiful Day

...or not, but it's better than yesterday, at least! The Washington, DC area has been experiencing record high temperatures, even for July. Friday and Saturday both exceeded 103F, and with high humidity, that makes for a heat index >110F (43.3C). I think at the hottest point on Friday, the heat index was 118F/47.8C. This morning it was already 80F/26.7C at 0600, but it's supposed to top out in the 90s (still with heat index >100).

I am not yet able to run, but I was missing my running team so much after two weeks away that I volunteered to help out with water refills and minding folks' stuff and whatnot. So yes, I got up before 0600 on a Sunday morning and dragged my butt over to the trail. It was a little weird being there and not being able to run...but I'm glad I went. I *may* be able to run again by next Sunday. If not, I'll probably volunteer again.

Good news, bad news...and perseverance.

The good news is that I will be able to resume training and still have time to get back into the schedule to be ready for the Marine Corps Marathon in October.
The bad news is that it is tendinitis and it's going to take at least 2 weeks of PT before I can run. :(

I walked to and from PT today, about 2.5 miles. Yes, in the wicked heat. In the middle of the day. And realized that I can still get miles in, just not running miles. So my promise to myself is that until I can run again, I will make sure I get at least the same number of miles/days of exercise in without running.

Patience, patience, patience, patience, patience.

Patience

OK, I admit it. I am absolutely terrible at this whole patience thing. I want my ankle to magically be better so I can run. So far, not happening. That's where the patience comes in.

So...time to figure out a diversion. A couple of friends have suggested swimming or biking. Just something to keep moving while I can't run. The easiest and cheapest option is to at least get out and walk, which I shall do later today. Will see how that goes.

If that's not enough, I guess a pool pass for the nearest community pool may be on the agenda. We'll see.

Sprain, sprain, go away

Well, the good news is that the doctor does think it's just a sprain. Both ankles bothered me a little when we did our 10 mile run, but both seemed fine by Sunday. Sunday's five mile run left my right ankle (or, more precisely, behind the inside of my right ankle) a bit sore. Lots of ice and rest, felt better by Tuesday...that is until I ran Tuesday night with Joe & Rick...and the pain came back worse. I limped home on the Metro, not a happy camper.

So...lots of ice & rest. May not be able to run Sunday's 12, will have to wait and see. Grrrr. I am not very good at this patience thing, but I know I have to let this heal or I risk injuring it worse. One person reminded me that it's better to resolve this now, in July, when the race is in October than it would be to fight it and have to drop out later.

Rain, deer, and snakes, OH MY!

Today was a "recovery" run of only five miles. I have to say, this five was WAY easier than the first five we did! It was pouring (thunderbolts and lightning) when I woke up at 0500 this morning, so I wasn't sure if (a) we were running and (b) everyone would show up. It was not easy to get out of my comfy bed...but I did.

About ten of us made it out, and by 0700 the rain had pretty much let up. The trail was wet and we were dodging puddles in a few spots, but the run was not bad. It was REALLY humid, though. Mary was among those who made it out, YAY! We both do better with someone to run with, and in spite of a sore ankle (achilles, maybe...it's on ice right now), she and I did the five a little ahead of our planned pace. We tried race-walking one half mile, just to time it and see if we walk fast enough for MCM's time requirement.

On our way back we saw a deer chomping on some brush. She didn't start or run off when we came by, so she must be acclimated to humans running past. Less than half a mile later, Mary screamed...there was a black snake on the path that she almost stepped on. So, our first deer spotting and our first snake!

Next week we do 12 miles. We'll be running at a different site (ours combines with another for runs >10 miles), so that should be interesting. Until then...

Freddie Signing Off

So it's Sunday evening, and I am procrastinating...I need to pack a suitcase and finish some 'round the house stuff because I'll be gone most of the week, but instead I find myself online. One of my friends posted the 2003 re-edited video for No One But You that was done for World AIDS Day that year. The re-edit has more footage of Freddie than the original, and you can see how he goes from being a fit god of rock to being the skeletal and heavily made-up wisp of himself in those last months. A lot of people were shocked that Freddie recorded video when he was so ill, especially given how fiercely the band and his friends were protecting his privacy against the (as Roger Taylor called them - f*cking wankers) press.

No One But You is one of the most beautiful songs Brian has ever written. I still remember the first time I heard it; I stopped in my tracks and stared at the speaker it was coming from and burst into tears.

The Official International Queen Fan Club has a long-standing tradition of messages from band members at the annual conventions. Yes, 20 years after Freddie, the fan club is still going strong. I believe it is now the longest continuously-running band fan club ever. Not bad for a band that has spent 40 years being uncool, eh?

Here is Freddie's 1991 Fan Club message :
I'm Going Slightly Mad (Totally Bonkers Version)

Keep in mind that he was terribly ill when he recorded this and probably knew it would be his last fan club message. He kept his sense of humor right up to the end. This and his "I still love you" at the end of the Days of Our Lives video  were his last goodbyes to us mere mortals.

We still love you.

10 Miles!!!! (16.09km)

This was a milestone run. Few of us who started training together believed we could run 10 miles so soon. But we did it, and we did it on or better than pace! Next week we get a break - a recovery run of "only" five miles. Today Teri joined us from one of the other sites, and she did a fab job keeping up with Mary & me. Her usual group is a minute slower. We discovered that each of us is blogging about our training.

We're also starting to dedicate our runs to someone living with or who has lost their battle with HIV/AIDS. I'm not sure who I know that HASN'T been affected or known someone affected by this disease. My ex's cousin, who was infected by her husband and who left two children to be raised by their grandparents. My friend Robin, who donated to honor her dear friend John, an early casualty. My bff from high school - her husband's HS buddy, also John, a hemophiliac who received infected serum.  My employee and friend, Carter. So many stories, so many lives.

A lot of people seem to think that this disease is no longer a big deal, yet every 9.5 minutes someone in the US is infected with HIV, and AIDS is now the top cause of death of young people worldwide. People still stigmatize those with HIV/AIDS, believing that it's their own fault or that they somehow deserved this.
30 years later, there are still people who believe that this disease is punishment from God. All I can say to that is that the God I believe in does not work that way. But for every person with no compassion for their fellow person, there is someone who cares.

Be someone who cares.

National HIV Testing Day - June 27th

National HIV Testing Day is June 27th. Know your status.
When was your last test?

And in case you missed it...

Sponsor me here:

http://www.active.com/donate/MCM_T2DC2011/suzanner

8 miles - Whoot!

The good news:

• my strategically placed bandage stayed in place in spite of extreme sweat
• we finished

It was a hot and humid morning, and my running partner Nicole was really feeling it. We let Mary go on ahead with some faster runners and I slowed up to stay with Nicole. She realized about halfway in that she hadn't taken her thyroid meds this morning, and she felt so bad that she was slowing me up...but I just kept reminding her that it didn't matter if we were fast today, it only mattered that we finish. So we averaged about 18 minutes/mile (my target is 15, hers is 15:30). 

I've been averaging 14 minute miles on my short runs during the week, so I don't think our slower long runs are a problem. I know when we get to race day that I'll be able to keep a pace that'll allow me to finish without getting swept off the course. 

On an entirely different subject...won't get results of biopsy until late in the week. Keep your fingers crossed for me, please! 

Next Sunday we run 10, can't wait! 

Me in my running shirt & Me with our dear Doc

Headed for 8 miles (12.9km)

Our six miles last week seemed SO slow...but the coaches keep telling us that while we are training, we need to stay at or below our target pace. Not easy!! We'll see how it goes this Sunday with 8 miles.

I watched the recent BBC documentary "Days of Our Lives" for the third time...and I cried, cried, cried again. My Queen-fan friends understand...doubt I could explain it to any of you who aren't fans. Those of you who are will know why I plan to run the race with FREDDIE on my arm. Every time I get sore or tired, I think of how courageous and dignified he was, right 'til the end.

Running on Sunday will be...um...interesting. I had a biopsy today, so I have a bandage in a spot that tends to rub a little while running. I am pretty sure that as long as I keep it protected and bandaged, it will be ok, but right now it hurts like the dickens!!

And last but not least, check out Freddie For A Day...special thanks to them for supporting my run on their page !

The Mercury Phoenix Trust

The Mercury Phoenix Trust is a UK AIDS charity founded after Freddie Mercury's death; it was founded originally to distribute the monies raised from the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert. MPT hosts an annual "Freddie For a Day" fundraiser, among other things, and I have been emailing back and forth with them about running with Team to End AIDS here in the US.

While I don't think I can manage to run the Marine Corps Marathon as Freddie (Stuart Jones did the 2010 London Marathon dressed as Freddie in aid of MPT), I wanted MPT to know that they are at the heart of my choice to train for MCM with Team to End AIDS. On race day, I'll have Freddie's name on my arm, and I know it will keep me going.

MPT have graciously agreed to help me publicize my run...and I am pleased to be running and raising money in their name.

You Can Call Me a Quitter!

No, not of running. Nope, not of training for a marathon. Today is my fourth cigarette-free day.
I haven't bit anyone's head off yet, though I have had some mild cravings and some super-vivid strange dreams (anyone who has ever quit smoking knows what I am talking about).

I ran 3 miles on Weds and 3 miles this morning, and I have to say that I can already feel the difference. As my friend (and motivator) Steve Senes has been repeating for the past several days "F&^% you, cigarettes!"

Looking forward to six miles on Sunday.

5 miles (8km)

All I can say right now is...owwww. Mary and I made the five miles in an hour and nine minutes, a bit faster than our planned pace. We'll have to really slow ourselves a little as the distance builds or we'll wear ourselves out too quickly.

One of the reasons I decided to run is that I know it will force me to quit smoking again, which I haven't been able to muster the willpower to do. Today's run definitely convinced me it's time to quit. Several of my FB friends have quit recently, so I thank them for their inspiration.

I am proud of myself for getting out there today...my back has been bothering me for a couple of days, but they say it is better to keep moving than it is to lie down. My back is still bothering me, but it didn't hurt while we were running. And my glutes are now sore, distracting me from my back, lol! I am reminded of my Dad's cure for all complaints not requiring stitches..."Here, let me step on your foot, you'll forget all about it." Miss you, Dad.

Today, by the way, marks the 30th anniversary of AIDS. Let's not give this disease 30 more years to wreck lives.

Hot, hot, hot!

We did a "fun" run on Tuesday evening...in temps with a heat index of over 100F (38C for my non-US friends). It wasn't really all that fun! We hit a hill, and for the first time in over a year...I wheezed. It was a little disconcerting...for those of you who have never experienced the joys of asthma or COPD, it can feel like you are trying to breathe underwater. It hurts. Thanks to Coach Karen and our running partner for getting me through. Ran again this morning in much more bearable weather with much better results. I know we're all going to have to acclimate to running in the heat, as we train right through the summer, so even though I struggled with Tuesday's run it was still good conditioning.

Within the next week or two, I may be strong enough to add some cross-training to the 3x/week runs. I hope so!

Four Miles!

I'm sweaty. In spite of not feeling well this morning and not sleeping well last night, today's four miles went better than expected, largely due to having teammates. Mary is a little faster than I am (she's young!) and Nicole a little slower, but Nicole would have been on her own in her pace group (half a minute slower than ours) so she joined us for today's training. Even though it was a push for her, she hung in there and we got back together.

I was the only one wearing a watch, so I somehow got elected 'pace leader'. We did our first two miles well UNDER our planned pace, so we were able to dial back a bit on the return journey and we still made our time right on the mark.

On the fundraising side, I got an unexpected donation this week...from my company! $500!!! I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that our partners cared enough to donate in the company's name. My boss had already donated, as have a couple of my coworkers, and while EVERY donation means a lot to me, having the partners' support and encouragement just really made my day.

Every week I feel a little stronger. Every week, it hurts a little less!!

Pace Run

We had our first group run to sort us into our pace groups this morning. Three miles - my target was to be <=45 minutes. I started with a lovely young lady named Mary, who has a stride pretty well matched with mine. Turned out Mary is a great pace partner - we ran some, walked some, ran some, walked some. The idea was to NOT kill ourselves, so every time we started huffing and puffing we dropped back to a race-walk.

We beat my time target! Yay!

The training program is a run/walk program, which means that based on our pace group, we run for a set # minutes then walk for a set # of minutes. Based on todays' pace run, we'll be doing either 3:2 or 2:2.

I'm so out of shape that the thought of even three miles made me more than a little nervous...but we DID IT! Next Sunday we do 4. Then 5 the following week. Then 6. We run on our own at least twice during the week to help "build the base". The coaching staff are really supportive.

I am still a bit daunted by the prospect of running 26.2 miles (even though I have walked a marathon - running one scares me), but I am convinced that I can do it.

Amazed and Inspired

My friends never cease to amaze me.

I got another donation from a friend I have never met IRL. I won't name her here...I'll only say she is struggling with unemployment, yet still dug up $$ to donate for my run. She has inspired me. I hope to return the favor!

On My Way...to Victory Lane

I was out of town at a conference this week, which usually means too much food, drink, and a wacky schedule. I made a point of hitting the hotel gym and running, walking, & weight-lifting. Felt good!

In previous posts I have mentioned one of my sources of inspiration, Mike Corrado, a Marine and musician. Yesterday Mike released a new tune "Victory Lane". Rockin' tune, and perfect for running. Thanks, LtCol!

And in Case You Missed It...

Sponsor me here:

http://www.active.com/donate/MCM_T2DC2011/suzanner

Official Start!

We had our official kick-off meeting today. Met my coach, Karen. Got some great advice about running, nutrition, gear, fundraising, & injury prevention/treatment. Met some awesome folks who I expect will become close friends in the months ahead.

Sent my first batch of "please sponsor me" emails. Got another donation, yay! Enjoying my last Saturday night beer for the next six months, lol!

I'm excited!

In my last post, I mentioned Mike Corrado, musician extraordinaire and Marine. His newest tune "Victory Lane" drops on Tuesday, just in time for my Tuesday run.

Perspective

We officially start training tomorrow morning.

I am mixed with both thrill and dread. Thrill because I know I need to do this. Dread because I had a crap day, I have anxiety about this, I don't know how I'll raise the money (yada, yada, yada).

My friend Mike Corrado has provided much inspiration with his posts about Wounded Warriors. My Marine buddies (Mike included) must think I am being a total sissy about this. Holy f*cking cow, for what they have been through, surely training to run 26.2 and meeting the fundraising goal is a small drop in the bucket.

So I am trying to put this in perspective. Not so tough. I CAN do this, depression, bad day, self doubt be damned.

Wish me luck!

Slow Going

I don't have an urge to write...been a heck of a week. So my only post will be to share the tune this blog is named for:

I'm Going Slightly Mad


Three words: Doc Bri, penguins
This has long been my favorite Queen vid, which is saying a lot. The first time I saw it, lo so many years ago, I laughed and cried. Laughed because...well, just watch. And cried, because I could no longer ignore what we all suspected. Broke my heart to know. Still breaks my heart. We still love you.

46664 - It's In Your Hands

This, my friends, is one of my most prized possessions. For 46664, Nelson Mandela's global HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention campaign, some famous folk had their hands photographed to support the message "It's In Your Hands". 


This particular hand (I own two of the photographs) belongs to a man who has inspired me throughout my life. He has cheered me up in dark times. He has spoken openly about his battle with depression, which has helped me keep my own in perspective. He is an accomplished man, yet a modest one. 


When my Dad died in 2006, I got an email from him out of the blue...it was short but eloquent, and it brightened a very difficult time.


This is the hand of Dr. Brian H. May, CBE. 


You may wonder what this has to do with training for the Marine Corps Marathon...well, when I get frustrated and tired, this pic of Doc Bri's hand reminds me of how small my day-to-day frustrations are. I have a feeling I will be needing a lot of reminding in the days ahead. 


Thanks, Doc. 

Ups & Downs

On the upside, I invested in a good pair of running shoes. Went to check out Potomac River Running in Cleveland Park. =PR= is one of the Team to End AIDS partners, and is a local family-owned business. The young lady who fitted me is a runner who plans to run her first marathon with her Mom in October. How cool is that?!?

On the downside, I am pretty sure I have a groin pull, so I am reading up on treatment and prevention. This means no running for at least a few days while it heals up, but it looks like I can at least keep walking as long as I don't over-do it.

Carter & Arlington National

Last July, I wrote about burying a young Hospitalman at Arlington National, and how it reminded me of one of my former employees:

So. 
We buried HN Ortega last week at Arlington. In a beautiful sea of white dress uniforms, a two-star among us. 

And I could not help but think of Carter, rest his soul. 

In my past life, I managed truck drivers...and the first time I rode with Carter, he introduced me to Arlington National in a way I'd never seen it. The office that received packages closed, back then, in the middle of the day...and that day, we missed them. I thought we'd just code up our deliveries and drive on, because they were closed at receiving...but Carter drove us deeper into the cemetery, stopped on a path...and he fussed around the back of our truck...enough for me to go see what he was doing. We had flowers. Flowers that wouldn't make it through the hot day. So Carter delivered them himself to the grave site...arranged them like a pro, knelt at the grave site of some soldier/sailor/airman/marine whose family couldn't... and I grabbed my camera and snapped a pic. My boss wanted me to write him up - not in our budget, and he broke policy - but I couldn't write him up. 

Somewhere I have a picture of my courier Carter, kneeling and saying a prayer, paying honor and respect to one of our fallen. 

I sent that pic to my CEO - and he published it on the cover of our company magazine. 

Sometimes we break the rules - because it's the right thing to do. Carter, I miss you - you KNEW what was right. 

And as we honor HN Ortega, I cherish your memory.


I learned more from Carter than anyone I've ever managed. When he became my employee, he was HIV positive. I had one of the hardest conversations of my managerial career with him, when it became clear that he could no longer do his job due to his progression to full-blown AIDS. I asked him not to force me to make the decision whether to continue working for him. I still get a lump in my throat when I think of it.

Weather, huh?

Okay, so I have to admit that I took a short break from my pre-training...nasty weather here, though nowhere near as nasty as in other parts of the US.

The Bradford pear in my side yard split and fell on the house. My son and a neighbor were able to coax it to the ground, but it fell across my driveway and onto my neighbor's property. Gak! It fell not 15 minutes after I parked in my garage.

So...I didn't run today...but I spent a couple of hours with my reciprocating saw cutting away tree debris so that I can get in and out of the garage. I had an arborist come look at the poor tree...it's going to have to be cut down.

I'll have to make up with a good walk or run tomorrow.

First Run

Started with my first run yesterday - one mile, in 15 minutes. It's a start. Also got my first on-line donations for T2EA, yippee! From two friends in the UK, neither of whom I have met IRL. Seriously. I say friends, though, and mean it...even though I've never met them, they are both women I feel I've known forever.

Overcame the first running challenge...two sportsbras work better than one. I think a little bit of new gear is going to be required, and even though I'm broke, I know forking over for the right shoes will be worth it.

The countdown begins to MCM

In the coming months, I am fairly certain I will question my sanity more than once. I am not a runner. I'm not even particularly athletic. So what on earth would posess me to VOLUNTARILY sign myself up to train for the Marine Corps Marathon to raise money for Team To End AIDS ??

If you recognize the song that this blog's title comes from, you've probably already put two and two together and realized one reason that I have a special place in my heart for AIDS charities. For any who don't recognize it, "I'm Going Slightly Mad", from Queen's album Innuendo, was Freddie Mercury's brilliant (and very painful to watch) attempt at humor as he battled AIDS-related dementia symptoms. Life-long Queen fan seems kind of an understatement to those who know me, lol.

As for the running bit, I really needed a compelling reason to help me stick with a disciplined program for my own sanity. It's one of the best treatments there is for chronic depression, especially for someone like me who has terrible side effects from anti-depressive medication. I have been off meds for over a year, and I can honestly say it's been a battle.

So, the countdown to race day begins.